is like a cancer that your body builds slowly over a period of time. It accumulates in your brain - drop by drop of negative thoughts till you start to feel life become unbearable. Most people will not be able to notice its coming. They will attribute it to other things and one day - wham you feel like you don't want to live anymore.
There are a lot of weirdos on the internet. I think the girl who broke my heart was one of them.
The end.
there was this tree that was cut before it could reach its potential. i feel like that tree right now.
My emotional pain seems to have manifested into physical pain. Now I have an aching shoulder and a broken ankle.
I wonder if I will be fit enough for Katahdin.
It is the curse of humans to pursue things that they do not need and they do not have. They usually spend a life time doing that. Then they wonder how life passed them by.
i had met this ultimate fantasy of mine. we had sex and now she left me. i am in so much pain. it hurts when i think about it.
The Young British SoldierWhen the 'arf-made recruity goes out to the East
'E acts like a babe an' 'e drinks like a beast,
An' 'e wonders because 'e is frequent deceased
Ere 'e's fit for to serve as a soldier.
Serve, serve, serve as a soldier,
Serve, serve, serve as a soldier,
Serve, serve, serve as a soldier,
So-oldier _of_ the Queen!
Now all you recruities what's drafted to-day,
You shut up your rag-box an' 'ark to my lay,
An' I'll sing you a soldier as far as I may:
A soldier what's fit for a soldier.
Fit, fit, fit for a soldier . . .
First mind you steer clear o' the grog-sellers' huts,
For they sell you Fixed Bay'nets that rots out your guts --
Ay, drink that 'ud eat the live steel from your butts --
An' it's bad for the young British soldier.
Bad, bad, bad for the soldier . . .
When the cholera comes -- as it will past a doubt --
Keep out of the wet and don't go on the shout,
For the sickness gets in as the liquor dies out,
A' it crumples the young British soldier.
Crum-, crum-, crumples the soldier . . .
But the worst o' your foes is the sun over'ead:
You must wear your 'elmet for all that is said:
If 'e finds you uncovered 'e'll knock you down dead,
An' you'll die like a fool of a soldier.
Fool, fool, fool of a soldier . . .
If you're cast for fatigue by a sergeant unkind,
Don't grouse like a woman nor crack on nor blind;
Be handy and civil, and then you will find
That it's beer for the young British soldier.
Beer, beer, beer for the soldier . . .
Now, if you must marry, take care she is old --
A troop-sergeant's widow's the nicest I'm told,
For beauty won't help if your rations is cold,
Nor love ain't enough for a soldier.
'Nough, 'nough, 'nough for a soldier . . .
If the wife should go wrong with a comrade, be loath
To shoot when you catch 'em -- you'll swing, on my oath! --
Make 'im take 'er and keep 'er: that's Hell for them both,
An' you're shut o' the curse of a soldier.
Curse, curse, curse of a soldier . . .
When first under fire an' you're wishful to duck,
Don't look nor take 'eed at the man that is struck,
Be thankful you're livin', and trust to your luck
And march to your front like a soldier.
Front, front, front like a soldier . . .
When 'arf of your bullets fly wide in the ditch,
Don't call your Martini a cross-eyed old bitch;
She's human as you are -- you treat her as sich,
An' she'll fight for the young British soldier.
Fight, fight, fight for the soldier . . .
When shakin' their bustles like ladies so fine,
The guns o' the enemy wheel into line,
Shoot low at the limbers an' don't mind the shine,
For noise never startles the soldier.
Start-, start-, startles the soldier . . .
If your officer's dead and the sergeants look white,
Remember it's ruin to run from a fight:
So take open order, lie down, and sit tight,
And wait for supports like a soldier.
Wait, wait, wait like a soldier . . .
When you're wounded and left on Afghanistan's plains,
And the women come out to cut up what remains,
Jest roll to your rifle and blow out your brains
An' go to your Gawd like a soldier.
Go, go, go like a soldier,
Go, go, go like a soldier,
Go, go, go like a soldier,
So-oldier _of_ the Queen!
-- Rudyard Kipling
http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/articleshow/msid-2216265,prtpage-1.cms
I fail to understand why this makes perfect sense to some people. For me it is not making any sense at all.
My room-mate called me to tell me that he had an accident in NYC. Since a friend of his was driving, will the insurance cover the damages?
My parents have been married for over 30 years and yesterday I came to know that they are thinking of separating. I guess it might be easier for them than the constant fighting they do every day.
There was a girl I used to know. Her name was Sue Parkington and she stayed in the state of New Hampshire. Sue had been a New England girl for her whole life, except for a year that she had spent in Pottstown, Pennsylvania.
It was her birthday and Sue was looking forward to meeting the man who had sent her emails containing his photographs. He was younger than her and unattached. He had the same tastes she did. He looked beautiful and gave his name as Steve. Amongst other things Steve claimed to be fond of hiking.
It was Sue's 52nd birthday. She had brought some kind of closure to her marriage, or rather the end of it so to speak. She had healthy desires like any other woman and was looking forward to having new companions and friends in her life.
Steve was going to visit her. Steve stayed in the nearby state of Connecticut and they planned a visit to the park...
I have had my computer infected thrice with IE, not once with Firefox. That speaks volumes about the browser, or it could be the just the sites I have been visiting.
This movie is a spectacular production. I am not certain about the historical accuracy of this film, but the premise of this film is as old as dust. The film is about an Emperor who is poisoning his wife in cahoots with the Imperial physician. The wife is having an affair with the Emperor's first born, the step-son. The step-son wants to end the affair since he is having one with the physician's daughter who also happens to be his step-sister. The only people who are aware of this is the Emperor and the physician's wife, and the Empress as we later find out in the movie. How is that for complications?
The Empress also has her own plot to overthrow the Emperor and put her own son on the the throne. She hatches an ill-fated plan with her son. The movie is a tragedy and all the players have played their parts well. Gong Li in the role of the Empress is stunning. A pretty face who can act as well. Chow Yun Fat as the evil cold blooded tyrant has played his role well. You should not miss this movie.
There are a number of social networking sites out there. This week I received three invitations for tagged, two for linkedln and one for zorpia.com
I got the invitations from people whom I have lost touch with. I am not really sure how signing up on all these sites is exactly going to benefit me. If these people had my email address, I am certain they would have simply sent me a mail asking about my whereabouts. Instead of asking me to sign up on a site to stay in touch with them.
Yahoo Games is a site that I visit on a regular basis. A few of my favorite games like Literati, Word Racer and Spades are present on that site. Recently it has now setup a link with another game site called king.com
This site has a fantastic version of pool and if you like pool, you should definitely visit this site. I have also played online pool at various other free sites. Nabisco.com is one of them. The interface at Nabisco.com is too complicated for a user like me. I prefer the simplicity offered by king.com
The other place is Real Arcade by Real.com which offers a shareware version of pool, probably a shade better than king.com This version expires after 60 minutes of play. It will cost about 20 dollars to install it permanently, but my experience of buying games from an online game provider has not been very positive.
On King.com, the site has a nature to frustrate you by making you wait indefinitely before you can actually enter a room to play or find a "matched" partner.
I remember way back in the days of DOS, there used to be a game called Billiards and that was really easy for duffers like me. Now if I could only lay my paws on one of those old time arcade games.
Otherwise very soon, it will be giving yahoo a run for its money.
The price of love is mourning, because all relationships end in either separation or death. This is not a risk you take; it is a certainty you must accept. The only ones who escape it are those who die young—so young that they predecease all other beings they love.
Another day is passing
And still there is no word
On how your life is going
And who is in your world
I pray you will consider
These words I write to you
I liked you in my life
Yet maybe now it's through
I don't want to see
our relationship come to an end
And I don't want to find
our lives standing still
We are moving towards the end
And we really ought to wait
Because God planted something special
Deep within our hearts
I know your life is hectic
You are busy all day through
My life is busy also
But I still think of you
I want to send my wishes
And remind you of these things
Just so you will know
You mean so much to me
Today I attended a church service for Easter. Firstly there was no feast as I had imagined. Secondly it seems that the path to heaven seems to be possible only from a firm unshakable belief in Jesus Christ. This is rather difficult to fathom. Every religion more or less tries to preach the same thing.
The part of his talk that impressed me the most was the one about hope. We all have hopes and we have all seen those hopes get shattered. Ceasing to hope is no solution. Disappointment will be inevitable when it comes to hoping, but if you look at the big picture, then you will realize that hope is a very important constituent of life. If you lose hope, you lose the will to live. The reason we are all alive is that we have hope.
Youtube allowed a lot of dumb morons to get together. A few of these morons were atheists. They got together and pointed some links on the internet which showed a university study about people and their religion. Apparently, atheism is on the rise in today's world. Here is the video that sparked this thought.
And this is the link posted by the director of this video.
I paused to think about this particular video and realized that "religion was just an invention to keep men in check". Today the courts and the laws are able to take care of that. So do we will need a religion? Can we not evolve to a stage where morality will be checked by the nature of man rather than putting the fear of the unknown into him?
Some people never learn and some people never forget. What happens when two groups of people are invited to the same event. The ones who don't forget come on time and keep waiting for the ones who never learn. As a result a great deal of activity that could have taken place does not take place. So people, please make it a point to be on time. Don't end up wasting time. If you reach late to an event, you are also wasting the time of your host, who had to wait for you to arrive.
Today after a walk through the park, I realized that animal behavior is more consistent across the world. The same cannot be said for human behavior.
The real secret to happiness is lowering your expectations. That will make you happy. Some choice in life is good, but to much choice is going to paralyze your brain.
This title has been overdone since Ben Franklin came up with that quote. I have to pay my taxes and it seems I ended up owing money to the Government.
Sometimes the weekend is depressing, sometimes its the end of the weekend that is depressing.
Last evening a group of friends, who happened to have come down from Jersey wanted a taste of the Philadelphia Downtown. So off we hopped into the rental car towards Market Street. After circumnavigating through the grid, we got a place to park the car on 6th Street right opposite to the Convention Center. The only item of interest was the Rocky Statue and then we had an excellent dinner at an Indian Restaurant named Karma.
Last.fm is a nice service. Its free and you can set your preferences and listen to this radio from your computer.
One glitch I noticed today for the first time is that there is radio static on the service too.
Probably to ensure an authentic radio experience.
I had zero knowledge of cars when I purchased my first car. Now I have learned a lot of things over a period of time. The education was expensive. It cost me four months of salary to do repairs on my car. The person who sold me the car turned out to be a crook.
Today I am slightly familiar with the car. Would you believe that my car was advertised with a number of features, most of which do not work? I ended up paying for a 6 cylinder engine, when my engine is only a 4 cylinder.
Well fool me once shame on you.
before some idiot accuses of me of generalization, I must say
MOST GIRLS LIE. Lying comes easily to them. The quickest method of avoiding conflict is to lie. Natural trained liars. That is what I call these lying bitches.
Do you believe that once a duffer, always a duffer? I had a friend in school, who seemed to attract the wrong kind of guys. She had some kind of pattern and she went from one jock to the other till she had been through the entire football, lacrosse and the swimming team.
She used to be a lot of fun in school. I met her after 8 years to find that she is a single-mom supporting her two babies born from different men. Not yet married.
I used to think she was pretty smart to allow this to happen to her.
I wish I was able to track vistors to the blog. So if there is anything available that lets you track visitors to the blog, let me know.
I got my hands on an Artemis Fowl book. People who are into reading fantasy and sci-fi should know what I am talking about. Artemis has been around for some time now. Eoin Colfer does a good job on the writing, but there are a lot of flaws in Artemis' character. The character is supposed to be evil, but all he does is good deeds. There is a contrast right there. I used to think that it was easy in books to find out who was evil and who was not. Guess its not so easy anymore.
Flawed character or not, the books are pretty well written. Artemis comes out as a winner at the end of the story.
This sculpture is called "The Sprit of Transportation". It hang on some train station in the United States. I wish the trains at that station would be on time.
Me and my room-mate prepared a pepper flavored chicken curry. Everyone loved it for lunch. I lied to everybody saying that it was purchased in a hotel.
There is a certain kind of mystery associated with direct deposits and direct debits. Ever since I have engaged in the electronic system of making transactions, I seem to have lost the satisfaction that comes from handling money. Now everything is just an entry in the statement.
I know the statement does represent money, but it still feels unreal to me.
I got paid yesterday. This time, the company actually paid one day before. I think there is some incentive in the pay too. That is why the figure on the salary slip looks so much better.
I love pay day.
I learned skiing last year. Well I can't ski very well, but I enjoy the process and thats what counts. This year I planned a trip for a dozen people to go skiing along with me. We had loads of fun, but it left me wanting for more.
Right now, I wish I could drop everything and go skiing.
I was a big fan of web-based applications for a variety of reasons, till I saw a few hosted on my local intranet. These applications are the slowest apps that I have seen till date. This includes a few main-frame apps that I had seen way back in 1998.
Everybody wants them to be faster, but nobody has the budget to get them rewritten. Each succeeding patch seems to be succeeding in further slowing down the app.
I have had it with stupid automated templates. People try to add on things and mess the look of their page. Thats happening majorly on myspace, where you will see a lot of profile pages really screwed up.
I have noticed that happening on blogger at times too. I wish people would take a look at their pages and then take some effort to fix them.
Why do we crave for human touch? Is there some switch in our mind that makes you want to do that? What could happen if you did not touch any humans for a long time? Will that change your personality?
A friend of mine remarked that he loved the fact that he had 5 email addresses. I began to wonder what the need was. Well one was for receiving junk mail like those pesky newsletters and discount coupons. Another was the one he signed up on a dating site. The third was his regular correspondence. The fourth was one that his company gave him. The fifth was the one he used so he could sign up on social networking sites like myspace.com
Borrowed a Berlitz French language course CD from the library. I had learned French in school a long time ago. I thought I would do something about it. I played the CD all night in an effort for my subconcious to grasp everything in the CD. Unfortunately that did not work.
I remember in school learning chemistry. I used to record my voice in a tape and then play that tape while I would go to sleep. I scored pretty high on my chemistry test.
I think the reason its not working for the French CD is my brains need to hear my own voice instead of the lady who is speaking on the tape.
Here is a conversation that I had with a born again christian guy.
Me: Hey Joe, How was your lunch?
Joe: Bless the Lord, it was good.
Me: What did you have for lunch?
Joe: Bless the Lord, roast beef.
Here is a conversation I had with a born again christian girl.
Me: Liz, how about you and me catching a movie tonight?
Liz: No I can't.
Me: Why not?
Liz: If I go out with you, it will affect my relationship with God.
Application testing is proving to be a pain in the neck. We train a guy to be productive. After six months he gets to be real productive and that is when the vendor decides that its time to switch the guy into another project. So the whole cycle keeps on repeating. As a result we have to be extremely careful in testing.
Every new person added to the team introduces new bugs. This keeps me alert, but on the other hand, I am learning nothing new.
You might wonder about the documentation for the system. The documentation is in tatters. I have updated the documents like 5 times so far in the past 4 years and nobody bothers to go through the documents.
Every dickhead manager who comes in wants to see updated documents, but doesn't want to take the effort to review anything. How does he know I am not sending the same document over and over again? Well he doesn't.
I guess I better get on with the testing.
A PUA stands for pickup artist. Being daft that I am, I did not know this till today. Then I saw a Channel 4 show called "Seduction School". An American taught these guys how to act naturally in presence of women. Isn't that kind of counter productive? ACT NATURALLY.
Too many duffers and so few things at stake. Is the rat race worth anything at all?
My thoughts are shallow and uninspired. Dull thoughts deserve a space in the blogosphere too.
